I'm Not the Only One

Have you ever thought that there must be something wrong with you? That you are not like anyone else? Is life passing you by? Why you just can’t be content? Why you are not being fulfilled? Why you can’t stop dreaming about the next big thing? Why you are starting another business? Another job? Getting another new coach?

Well, I have. Over and over again throughout my adulthood. As a kid, I thought I knew what my future would hold. I dreamed of being an architect and getting married and having four kids living in the perfect ranch style home (that I designed) with a white picket fence. However, as I became an adult, that life I dreamt never really came to fruition. I didn’t take the straight path by any means. In fact, I’ve taken many different forks in the road, up and over many mountains that got me where I am today which is a place of settledness. Well, physical settledness. My mind and journey are far from reaching that place.

Guess what? I am ok with this reality. Why? Because I learned that I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE! I’ve recently stumbled upon a community of others like me - a community of “multipotentialites”! According to Wikipedia, a multipotentialite is a person who has many different interests and creative pursuits in life. Multipotentialites have no “one true calling” the way specialists do. Thank you to Emilie Wapnick (check out puttylike.com) and her amazing TedTalk that helped me see the huge lightbulb going off over my head as I watched and listened to her describe ME!

I’m not saying it makes any of my pursuits easier with this realization, but it does take away the anxiety of feeling like something must be wrong with me. Why couldn’t I have just gone to school with one career in mind, moved directly into the workforce in said field, and put in my 30-40 good years and retire as a respected architect (or whatever career I settled on). But no, that wasn’t to be. I started my undergraduate as a psychology major (I know, not an architect, but that is for another discussion) and realized in my sophomore year that it was not for me. So I changed to a business marketing major and loved it.

I did my stint in the corporate world but never felt quite right where I was. I did a great job and gave my all. After several years, I felt I’d give being a business teacher a try since I had a family by this time and thought a job in the public sector with a good retirement would be the answer. So off I went, back to college to get my Masters in Education in a program that would put me in the classroom within two years. It happened just like that and I was hired by the school that I did my student teaching in and made it one year. I guess I didn’t think this through as I really didn’t much like others’ kids, nevermind that these were teenagers! I had a few of those at home at that time and was having a hard enough time navigating their teen angst! So once again I had to figure out what was next. In the back of my mind, I knew I had a greater purpose and calling on my life, but it seemed like I was just throwing darts and missing the target.

During these years I always knew I had more of an entrepreneur mindset and really wanted to do my own thing. I started a few home-based businesses and enjoyed them for a while. Then I decided to delve into a “real business” and opened a women’s gym at the peak when women’s circuit clubs were popping up on every corner. When we opened we were the only one within several miles radius. By the time it closed there were about 10 within a two-mile radius! Did I also mention that this was opened at the beginning of a recession?! I learned a lot and got into the best shape of my life. No regrets; lessons learned.

It was about this time that I started thinking something had to be really wrong with me. I started investing in life/business coaches, personal development classes, and serving in my church, trying to find my way and my purpose. The following ten years or so was filled with lots of ministry (volunteer) work and it did fulfill me - but I still believed I was meant to do something more. I always loved writing so I signed up for a two-year intensive writing program and started writing for myself.

I wrote for those two years. A lot actually - but for assignments, which didn’t leave much for personal writing. Even after completing the program I continued to write a bit here and there. It was always something I did on the side. Too often on the way, way side. For various reasons I made excuses not to write: I’m too tired, nobody’s going to read it anyway, why would anyone want to hear what I have to say, there just isn’t enough time. I could go on, but I’ll spare you the excuses that became so common.

I eventually started a blog (GraceCityGirl) - and even got accepted as a HuffPost contributing lifestyles writer. When I received that letter in my in-box from Arianna Huffington - I was blown away and so excited! It was great for my ego and was a confirmation I needed to keep writing, and so I did. For a while. However, I kept having that nagging feeling that I was supposed to do something more. I started looking for work and thinking the “right job” will be the answer.

I remember an exciting position I applied for and had a few great interviews. Part of their hiring processing was getting a professional handwriting analysis done on their candidates. Well, that didn’t work so well. Basically, according to the report, I was an entrepreneur at heart. I could do the job requested, and do it with excellence. The big BUT was that “they better have something new for me to do in six months” because I was going to be bored and ready to move on. OUCH! That’s the first time anyone really qualified my work behavior in that way. It made perfect sense. I learned that it was okay to be like this but I had to be honest with myself and others about this fact.

Obviously, I didn’t get the job. I was bummed but also knew that it was probably for the best. I continued my search and went to work for a few different churches and non-profit organizations. I loved being a part of something bigger than me and giving to God instead of the pockets of executives in a big company. I thought I had found out what my purpose was. Wrong! I still had and still do have that nagging feeling that I have something greater to do in this world.

I’m not done yet. I’ve accepted who I am and that it is okay to pour my heart into many different things. I will always give my best to everything I do - regardless of how long that may be. I’m currently in a place where I have once again stepped out of the working world. I just joined a Board of Directors for a non-profit that I believe in with all my heart and soul. I am spending more time with loved ones, while I can. And my goal is to make writing a priority. Spending time penning my thoughts is something I need to do for me and hopefully, until I have nothing left to say (and if you know me, that probably will never happen)!

So if you are like me and can’t seem to stay settled, I am here to tell you that you are not alone. There are a lot of us out there! I wish I had learned this lesson much younger in life. I would have designed my life and work around it better. It’s been like trying to find the perfect jeans. You have to try on one hundred pairs to find one good pair and then they don’t last forever! One discovery I’ve made is, to hell with the jeans - my sweats are so much more comfortable and I can wear them when I write, at any time! So get comfortable and accept that you are wired differently than most people. Embrace it and create the perfectly imperfect YOU!